You Never Know
by tangowithme
Summary: AU, What if baby Josh lived? What would Carter's life be like? A different kind of fic that has a couple of twists. Luka stopped instantly as the gun went off again... PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:I don't own ER or any of its character; WB does.

Summary: AU, what if Joshua didn't die? What would Carter's life be like? A different kind of fanfic with a couple of twists.

Author's Note: I wrote this last year, and been sitting on it for a while revising it. Bear with me through this first chapters, it gets better. This is my first fic, so hope you enjoy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You Never Know"

He lied there, staring up at the ceiling as the sun slowly begin to creep into the dark room. He pulled up the covers over his head, trying to fall back to sleep, but sleep wouldn't find him. Carter pulled the covers back down and quietly rolled to his left to find that was still sleeping. He sighed as he rolled back over and silently kicked off the covers, not wanting to wake Kem. She was leaving later that day for Paris to be with her ailing mother, but refuse to let Carter and Josh go with her.

"Joshua is only nine months old; if we took him with us, anything to happen either to him or us and I will not leave him here without a mother or a father." Kem exclaimed with sadness.

Carter sat up at the edge of the bed and grabbed his wedding band off the nightstand and slipped it on. The digital clock read 7:54 am; Kem's plane left at two that afternoon. A cry came from down the hall as Carter made his way through the luggage scatter about the room. He gave Kem and kissed her on the cheek and made his way down to Josh's nursery.

"Daddy!" Josh cried as Carter picked him up.

"Hey." he exclaimed softly as snot ran down Josh's nose, "Why the tears little man?" He took a tissue and wiped up his little nose. He held him in his arms until he calm down and turned for the door when he saw Kem standing in the doorway. A wave of sadness overpowered him as she made her way toward them. John embraced her with his free arm and kissed her lightly on the forehead, as lone tear fell from her eye.

"Oh John," she whispered as she ruffled Josh's long hair. "I'm going to miss you guys so much."

Carter wiped the tear off her face and kissed her again.

"Me too," he replied softly. "Me too."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon, Carter and Josh saw Kem off at the airport. They embraced and Kem starting crying softly. She took little Josh into her arms and kissed him on the forehead.

"Be good for Daddy for me okay?" she whispered softly to him.

Josh nodded, his little brown curls bouncing up and down in his face.

"Kem," Carter whispered, taking Josh back into his arms. He tried to think of something so say, something to do, but nothing came to him. He gently touched her face and then kissed her tenderly. His voice chocked up as he whispered into her ear. "I love you." and kissed her again on the cheek.

Kem looked up with tears in her eyes, "I love you too." She let go off his hand and kissed little Josh again. Carter watched as she turned away from them, wiping the tears from her eyes. They watched her disappear into the plane tunnel before they began to walk back toward the jeep.

"Let's go get something to eat." Carter exclaimed as he put Josh into his car seat. Josh started to babble something as Carter put a little ball cap on him, buckled him up, and handed him his 'Babby', his favorite stuff bear.

"But first," Carter laughed, "We have to swing by the hospital."

After a while of driving, Carter looked into the rear view window to find that Josh had fallen asleep. Fond memories of his own brother, Bobby, resurfaced as he watched Josh. He sometimes wonders what if life would be like if Bobby didn't die; if he would have chosen to become a doctor or not. His named lives in the form of Josh now, Joshua Robert Carter. His attention refocus on to his driving as he pulled into County's parking lot. He picked Josh up and put him on his sling without waking him. With both of his hands free, he grabbed his bag and locked the door when a familiar voice caught his attention.

"I didn't know you were on today."

Carter turned around smiling, recognizing the voice. "No, I'm not; I was just dropping by to grab some charts to work on at home."

"Being like the average super dad." exclaimed Abby

Carter laughed, "You're going to be a super mom soon too." He watched as Abby rubbed her own belly. She was about eight months pregnant with Luka's baby. Carter wonder how far their own relationship would have gone if they would have stayed together.

"Are you just getting on?" he asked.

"Yeah." she replied, "But my back is killing me and I feel like I need to pee every fifteen minutes."

Carter laughed as they made their way toward the ER. As they were talking, Abby stopped suddenly.

"Abby?" Carter asked worryingly. "Are you alright?"

She shook her head, "I just got really dizzy…" She didn't finish her sentence as she collapsed.

"Abby!" Carter cried reaching out instinctively catching her before she hit the ground. His sudden movements rocked Josh awake on his back, and his cries began to fill the air.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of its characters; WB or whoever does.

Summery: Kem left Carter and Josh to be with her ailing mother, and Abby collapse in County's parking lot.

Author's Note: I tried to make this as real as possible, please review and give me some insight.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Abby!" Carter cried reaching out instinctively catching her before she hit the ground. His sudden movements rocked Josh awake on his back and his cries began to fill the air.

"Abby, Abby open your eyes!" Carter exclaimed as he laid her on the ground. His eyes dart around trying to find help, but nobody was around. Josh's shrill cries got louder as Carter's panic began to grow. He couldn't leave her to get help; it would take him to long to get back. Carter made the only decision that he could make. With a heave, Carter lifted Abby off the concrete floor and started to make his way towards the ER. He bit his lip as the pain in his back began to grow worse. Blood dribbled down his chin as he stumbled into through the double door of the ER, falling to his knees as he got inside.

"I need some help here!" Carter cried.

"Abby!" Luka exclaimed as he ran towards them. "We need a gurney!"

"Help me lift her." Carter commanded. His knees wobbled underneath him as he stood up. Josh began to whimper gently as they lifted her on to the gurney." Hey Sam, can you take Josh for me for a while?"

"Yeah, no problem Carter." replied Sam, taking Josh off his back.

"Daddy?" Josh cried.

"Hey little man, its okay." he replied ruffling his hair. "Daddy will be there in a second, okay?"

"Okay." Josh replied as Carter watched them walk away. "What's open?" he asked, his attention refocusing on Abby.

"Trauma one." Luka said, his voice shaking with concern. "What happen?"

"We were in the parking lot when she complained of back pain and dizziness, and then she passed out. He looked down at her still face when her eyes started flickering open. "She's waking up." he exclaimed.

"Luka?" Abby whispered.

Luka took her hand, "I'm right here." he looked up at Carter, "Can you run this? I don't think I can do it."

Carter nodded, understanding Luka's situation.

"Carter?" Abby said looking up at him, "What happen?"

"You passed out," Carter paused, "don't worry, we'll check everything out." he said as they crashed through the double doors leading to trauma one. Abby nodded as she let out a cry.

A worried look cross Carter's face, "Was that a contraction?"

"I don't know, it's just the back pain is getting worse." She looked up at Carter's concern face. "What?"

Carter moved to the end of the bed, putting on a glove, "Let me see." He spread her legs and took a look. "Oh geez." he said looking up.

"What?" Luka and Abby said at the same time.

"Looks like your water just broke, fluid is clear." He exclaimed as he started to suit up. "Let's get a fetal monitor, basinet, and warm blankets in here and somebody page OB."

"Oh god, Carter I'm not ready yet; I still have four weeks to go." Abby protested as another contraction hit her. She let out another cry as she gripped Luka's hand.

"That was a contraction." she exclaimed as it passed. Carter moved to the end of the bed again and examined her.

"You're about nine centimeters dilated and completely effaced."

"How?" she asked, "I haven't felt a thing."

"You remember saying that you having back pain?" he replied. "You were probably having contractions, but all you could feel was the pressure."

A scared look passed over Abby's face. Luka took her hand, "Hey," he said looking her in the eyes, "everything is going to be alright, the baby will be fine." He wiped the single tear off her cheek as she cried out from another contraction.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An alarm sounded over Abby's screaming.

"What was that?" Carter questioned.

"Fetal heart rate." Chuny replied, "Variable deceleration to 118."

"What the hell?" Carter mumbled under his breath as he moved around the room.

"Fetal heart rate back up." Chuny exclaimed as Ray came into the room.

"Anything I can do?" Ray asked.

"Yeah," Carter replied, "We might need and extra sets of hands around."

"I'm never letting you do this to me again." Abby exclaimed looking up at Luka. A hurt look ran across his face, but it quickly pass as he knew it was to pain that was speaking.

"Fetal heart rate is dropping again." Ray exclaimed.

"Carter" Abby cried, "I'm feeling a lot of pressure."

"Fetal heart tones still dropping!" he turned to Carter, "Something is causing this baby not to get oxygen."

Carter stood there for a split second. Something was causing the baby not to get enough oxygen and it passed with every contraction.

"The cord is wrapped around the baby's neck!" Carter exclaimed moving back to the end of the bed.

"What?" Luka asked.

"The cord is wrapped around the baby's neck. With each contraction, it's pulling tighter around, causing the baby heart rate to drop. It might also explain the premature labor." Carter explained moving to the end of the bed. "We have to get this baby out now."

"Can we do a c-section?" Luka asked as Carter re-examined Abby.

"It's possible, but she's already crowning."

"Oh God." Abby whispered, closing her eyes.

"Fetal heart rate back up, but only to 102." Ray exclaimed.

"Abby," Carter said, touching her knee, "we need to get this baby out now." He paused, taking in a deep breath, "I don't want to do a c-section down here, so I need you to push with the next contraction."

She nodded, bearing down. Sweat poured down Carter's face as he guided the emerging baby's head.

"We lost a heart beat!" Ray exclaimed.

"Dammit," Carter said, "Come on Abby!" She gripped Luka's hand as Carter maneuvered the small child from Abby. He quickly unwrapped the cord from the little girl's neck and cut it.

"Carter?" Abby cried as he took the unmoving baby to the basinet. The OB resident took over for Carter as Abby held on to Luka's hand. Ray started bagging the baby as Carter started CPR. He looked down at the purplish thing that was Abby's and Luka's little girl and his mind wander back to Josh's birth. He and Kem almost lost Josh when he tangled himself in the umbilical cord, but he wiggled around so much he managed to untangle himself. Sweat fell from his face as he looked up at Abby and Luka, their eyes filled with apprehension.

"Come on," Carter whispered turning his attention back to the baby girl. "Come on."

Time since to pass slowly before Carter let out a sigh of relief. The baby girl let out a cry and started pinking up, moving her little arms and legs.

"Dr. Carter?" the OB resident called to him as he wrapped up the child.

"Yeah?" Carter replied walking back to them with the crying baby in his arm.

"I can't stop the bleeding." she replied.

"Thanks Carter." Abby whispered as she took the baby into her arms.

"Congratulations." Carter said, patting the thankful Luka on the back. "What's her name?"

"We're not sure yet," Luka replied, offering his pinkie to the baby. She took it into her small hand and held on. "We haven't had time to talk yet."

"Hey Ray," Malik said coming into the room. "We have a GSW coming in, ETA five minutes."

"Okay, I'll be there." Ray responded "Congrats Abby, Luka."

"Thanks." Luka replied.

"DR. CARTER!" the OB resident called again. "She's hemorrhaging; I can't stop the bleeding. I think she might have torn her uterus. "

"Have you tried massaging it?" Carter said moving towards the end of the bed.

"Yeah, but its not working." she "I think she might of ruptured her uterus due to the traumatic birth."

Fear crossed Carter face again. "Abby, who's your OB?"

"Dr. Coburn." she hesitated. "But why?"

"Carter," Chuny called "Her crit is dropping, only 32."

"Somebody page Dr. Coburn to the OR." Carter commanded, "Chuny, hang a unit of type specific on the rapid infuser." he paused, "she might also need a blood transfusion once we get to the OR."

"What's going on?" Luka asked forcefully, taking the baby back into his arms.

"She could have torn her uterus during the birth." Carter replied pushing the gurney out of the room. "We have to stop the bleeding."

"Wait." Abby said strongly. "Are you saying I might need a hysterectomy?"

Carter stopped for a second and looked at the woman he once loved. "Only as a last resort; we'll do a laparotomy first to try to find the source of the bleeding."

"Oh God." Abby whispered again, letting her head fall against the gurney.

"I want to stay with her." Luka said.

"No." Abby objected, "Take care of our baby." Luka's eyes filled with hurt as the baby in his arms started crying again. "I'll be okay." she whispered, holding on to his hand.

Luka looked up at him. "Will you stay with her?"

Carter nodded as they rolled into the elevator. A tear fell from Abby's eye as the elevator's door shut them out of their view.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of its characters...somebody else does.

Summery: After a traumatic delivery, Carter delivers a baby girl, but Abby might have torn her uterus and is redlined to the OR.

Author's Notes: I wrote this before the beginning of season 13 and I always imagine Abby and Luka having a baby girl. Please review, it makes me happy…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the hell happen?" Dr. Coburn demanded furiously as she walked into the OR.

"She went into premature labor." Carter explained, "But she might have a uterine rupture."

Coburn gave Carter a glare. "Did you deliver the baby?" Carter nodded. "You're not trained in this field of medicine Dr. Carter." she paused, "How's the baby?"

"The baby's fine." he replied.

"Thank goodness." Coburn exclaimed, walking toward Abby. "Don't worry Abby; I'll take care of everything." She looks up, "How many units have she lost?"

"About 30 C.C's." said one of the tech.

"Hang another unit, and save the blood through the cell saver. Prep her for a midline incision; I want her ready in two minutes." said Coburn on her way out.

"I'm going to relax you before I intubate." said the anesthesiologist.

"Wait." Abby said, grabbing at Carter's arm. She looked into Carter's eyes like she does when she was serious. "Don't let them take it, okay?"

A knot twisted up in Carter's chest as he looked down at the best friend. He nodded not saying anything.

Dr. Coburn bustled back in, "Is she ready?" one of the tech's nodded. "Okay let's go people; she's already lost enough blood."

Carter winced as Coburn made the first cut and blood came gushing out, with no stop. He's seen it all before, but it was different when it was one of your own.

"Suction," Coburn demanded, "I can't see a thing."

The knot in his chest seemed to twist tighter when he watched the red liquid being sucked at of Abby. He touched her forehead, and looked up at Dr. Coburn working furiously.

Time seemed to slow before anybody said anything. His mind began to wander to their own relationship that they had. Their love for each other was something that he couldn't replace, but she's moved on, and so has he.

"That's it." Dr. Coburn announced, "I can't find the source of the bleeding; open up a hysterectomy tray."

"Wait," Carter said defiantly, "You can't give up yet."

"But John," Coburn replied "We can't stop the bleeding; she's lost too much blood."

Carter took a deep breath in. "This isn't just anybody on the table, this is Abby." he paused, choking on his own words, "She's still young and healthy. This is just her first baby, and she deserves so much more than just one."

Dr. Coburn looked up at Carter with a different kind of look. "Okay," she said. "Let's go people; I need more suction."

Carter sighed and fell to his seat next to Abby. The knot in his chest pulled tighter as he watch the pump continue filling up with the red liquid.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What do you think?"

"I have no say in this, its your and Abby's choice."

Abby's eyes started flickering open. The light was really bright and it caused her to blink a few times before her eyes focus. She saw Josh on the floor with a stuff bear and Carter holding her baby talking to Luka.

"Hey, she's waking up."

They got up and walked over to her.

"How do you feel?" Luka asked kissing her on the cheek.

"Okay," she answered turning to Carter, "Did they…?"

"Did they take your uterus?" Carter said, finishing her sentence. He smiled his little crooked smile. "They thought about it, but they changed their minds when they thought how mad you would be when you wake up."

She laughed, "Thanks Carter."

"But there's still one little problem," Carter handed her the baby girl. "This little one still needs a name."

Abby's eyes lit up when she took the baby girl in her arms. Carter stepped back, wanting to give Luka and Abby their space with their baby.

"She's beautiful." Abby whispered. Luka nodded as he touched the baby's dark black hair. Carter picked up Josh and kissed him on the forehead. Josh laid his head and his shoulder and closed his eyes. Soon he was asleep.

"Let's name her Danielle." Abby said, looking up at Luka, "After your wife." Luka looked at Abby, tears beginning to form at the corner of his eyes. He nodded his head, kissing the baby on the forehead. "What was your daughter's name?" Abby asked.

"Jasna." Luka replied.

"Danielle Jasna Kovac." Abby announced, "I love it."

Carter turned, and grabbed Josh's Babby off the floor and headed toward the door when Abby's voice caught his attention.

"Carter." he turned around. He looked at her and how happy she was and the knots in his chest that he felt earlier seem to lighten up. "Thanks again, for everything."

He smiled, "No problem." he walked out and shut the door quietly behind him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Danielle wasn't exactly Luka's wife name; it was Danijela, which is the girl pet name of Daniel. This isn't the end of the story; there will be more to come. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of its characters, Warner Brother's does, or NBC or whoever it is… RATED "T" for language.

Summary: For one thing, sorry for my misspelling of 'summary' in the first three chapters, I've just noticed it. So pretty much what happened in the first few chapters was that Abby has her baby, just with a little more drama…lol.

Author's Note: Sorry I haven't written in a while, this whole high school graduation and preparing for college is draining. Well, I hope you enjoy; I've picked up where I last left off. These next chapters are kind of like the sequel to the first three chapters. PLEASE REVIEW!!! I don't care if it's good, bad, or a dancing monkey, I want to know how I'm doing. This is my first fic.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_A cold air tore through him as he stooped down to pick up the Valentine's card. He knew he shouldn't have, but he was a prisoner of his own mind, unable to stop this hellish dream. Carter felt the card in his hand like it was the actual moment. He's relived this so many times in his mind, but yet he could never change the outcome. He blinked and closed his eyes, preparing for what come next. The excruciating pain came with a blinding force as an eight inch knife drove its way into his back, twice. His mind went blank as he grabbed it, feeling the warm, red liquid escaping his body. Carter stared in horror at his blood covered hand as he tried to call out for help. The world around him grew dark as he stumbled and fell on the floor. He tried to heave himself back up, but the pain was too great and the darkness began to take him slowly into its grasp. He looked across from him, ready to surrender, when he saw Lucy. Carter's heart broke into a million pieces as he looked into her dark eyes. He whispered her name into the silent air as the darkness took him into its lair…_

Carter's eyes snapped open. His body was drenched in a cold sweat as the phone's shrill rings began the fill the still room. He wearily wiped the sleep from his eyes and fumbled for the receiver, hoping to get it before it woke Josh.

"Hello?" He answered unenthusiastically.

"Hello?" the male voice came on the other line. "Is this John Carter?"

"Yes." He answered as he looked at the digital clock on his nightstand that read 4:54 am.

"This is Dr. Edward Walter from Paris International Hospital," He paused as Carter's heart sank into his stomach. His throat tightens up as he was unable to make a sound. "Makemba, your wife, was in a car accident." Carter closed his eyes as a knot pulled rigid in the pit of his stomach.

"Is she alright?" He managed to whisper.

He heard the voiced sighed on the other line, "She was seriously injured," Carter hands began to shake as he knew what came next, "Despite our efforts, her injuries were too great and she died at 23:34 pm…" The voice trailed off as Carter dropped the receiver on the cold floor. His head bowed as he took his face in his hands and wept. Carter's body shook with sorrow as he thought he heard the phone ringing again in the distance…

Carter eyes snapped open. His body was drenched in a cold sweat as the phone's shrill cries filled the still room. His eyes darted towards the digital clock on the nightstand that read 4:57am. The phone rang again as Carter reached for it with shaking hands. He took the receiver to his ear and heard a female voice on the other line.

"John?" came the soft voice, "Hello? John are you there?"

Carter breathed a sigh of relief as he recognized the voice on the other line. "Kem?"

"Yeah." Kem answered, "I hope I didn't wake you. I tried to wait a little longer before I called you, but it's nearly midnight here and I was getting tired."

"No, you didn't wake me." Carter replied feebly, his nightmare still lingering in the back of his mind.

"John are you alright? Your voice sounds a little shaky."

"I'm fine; I just had a couple of bad dreams, that's all." He whispered into the ear piece. "I love you." He added quickly as he grabbed his wedding band off the nightstand and slipped it on.

"I love you too." Kem replied automatically. Images of both of nightmares loitered as they spoke on the phone till the morning sun slowly began to set into the silent room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on Josh," Carter pleaded, "One more bite for Daddy?"

"No more!" Josh retorted, "O-N JUICE!" pointing at his bottle sitting on the table.

Carter laughed as he reached for the bottle. They were sitting in the hospital cafeteria, eating breakfast together before Carter's shift started. "Orange juice Josh." Carter said, about to hand the bottle of juice into small, eager hands. "Can you say it for Daddy, Josh? Or-ange juice."

"O-N JUICE!"

Carter chuckle and handed the bottle to his young son. He began to get out the charts that he meant to work on last night when a figure overshadowed him.

"What are you doing here?" Carter asked, noticing who it was.

Luka took a seat next to Carter. Sleep hung heavy on eyes as he sipped his coffee. "I'm just getting on my shift." Carter looked at Luka with a surprise look. "I couldn't take off today, and Abby insisted that she would be fine."

"Oh." Carter said, picking up the next chart in the pile. "Sounds like something she would say."

"Yeah," Luka replied. "I'll go see her and Danielle during my break." He smiled. "They're going home later today after my shift."

"That's good."

Luka looked up from sipping his coffee. "Thanks to you." Their eyes locked and Carter felt their friendship build just a little more.

Carter smiled and looked at his watch. "I need to get this little guy up to daycare." He said getting up. "I'll see you later today?"

"Yeah." Luka replied as Carter gathered Josh and his stuff in his arms and headed toward the elevator.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Will you be good for Daddy?" Carter asked Josh as he sat him down in the daycare room. He kneeled downed to his level.

Little Josh nodded his head, his brown locks bouncing up and down.

Carter smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "That's my boy." He paused a moment. "Daddy loves you, you know that right Josh?"

Josh nodded again, and then he looked up at Carter with his big brown eyes. "I wuv you too Daddy." Carter's heart melted as he kissed him again and got up and left for the door.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Carter automatically put in his locker combination like he's done for years and started to put up his stuff when Sam walked into the lounge.

"Carter, we have a GSW coming in; a gang member got shot up after a bad deal."

"What's the ETA?" He asked jadedly.

"Pulling in right now."

Carter shook his head laughingly. "Gun shots in the morning, just how I wanted to start off a shift."

They walked outside as Carter took note of the darkening skies. The smell of upcoming spring rain tickled his nose as the ambulance carrying his first patient pulled up.

"Teyshawn Johnson, seventeen years old, two GSW, one to the upper right forearm, the other to the chest."

"That bastard shot me!" Teyshawn screamed.

"Which bastard would that be?" Carter asked calmly.

"My own gang member." He retorted angrily.

"You must have done something wrong." Sam commented.

"Shut up bitch."

"Hey, knock it off; we just want to help you." Carter countered. "Let's take him to trauma one."

They rolled him into trauma one when Ray walked in. "Can I help with this one Dr. Carter?"

"Yeah." Carter answered as he started working on the patient. "There's plenty of Teyshawn to go around."

"What the hell are you implying doc?" Teyshawn snapped.

Carter looked at him disgustedly "Open up a chest tube tray; he's bleeding in his chest."

"I'll go get one." Sam said when somebody walked in.

"You bastard." Teyshawn screamed at the dark figure.

The man took out a gun from deep within his jacket and pointed it at Teyshawn. Time seem to slow down as Carter looked up. The gun fired its deadly components at Teyshawn twice in the head, killing him instantly. The man turned the gun from the dead Teyshawn towards the others. Grasping what was going to happen next, he tried to turn to protect himself, but it was too late. A bullet drove itself deep into his chest. Carter mind went blank as he saw the ground coming closer towards him as he fell. Josh and Kem flashed into his mind as he felt the warm liquid begin to flow from him. _"I wuv you too Daddy…" _ His breath got short as the pain hit him. An immense agony ripped through his chest, causing him to heave.

"Nobody move or I'll shoot him again!" screamed the man. The taste of blood lingered in his mouth as Luka appeared in the corner of Carter's eye. He tried to yell out to him, tell him not to come close, but his throat betrayed him. Luka stopped instantly as the gun went off again. Carter crumbled in pain as the second bullet hit him. His eyes grew glassy as the blood began to pool around him. The mono-tone monitor screeched in his ear as he lied on the cold ground, letting the darkness began to take him…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of its character, Warner Brothers or whoever it is does. Also the song lyrics used from the song "Untitled" is not mine, it belongs to Simple Plan or whoever; please don't sue me.

Summary: A gang member was being treated when his suppose assailant came to the ER to finish what he started, taking him out and shooting our own Carter also.

Author's Note: For the most part, this story has been from Carter's point of view. Well now, it shifts to everybody else's point of view, well since Carter is kind of…read on to find out! PLEASE REVIEW!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ray stared across the floor at Carter bleeding to the death. The gunman stood over his still body, still pointing the gun at him. Ray noticed that Carter's breathing was starting to slow as the crazed man then turn the gun towards Sam. Ray's brained ticked away as the monitor on Teyshawn continued screeching in the background.

"Nobody move!" the man screamed again, "Or she'll get it!" shaking the gun uncomfortably close to Sam's head. Ray looked over at Sam, their eyes locking. He saw the fear in her eyes as he made a decision in his mind. He looked again at Sam, her hands shaking, and prayed that what he's about to do was the right thing. With the gunman's back turn towards him, Ray's heart clamor in his chest as he took in a deep breath and lunged at him, wrestling for the deadly weapon as all hell broke loose. A shot rang out as Ray tackled the man to the ground, knocking the gun away from them. The much larger man then turned the pile over, with Ray on the bottom. He took up his arms, shielding his face, as the weight on him was suddenly lifted. He opened his eyes to see Luka has picked up the man and slammed him against the glass window, breaking it, spraying red glass everywhere.

Ray scrambled to his feet and ran toward Carter.

"Dr. Carter?" he said, trying to get him to wake. "Somebody clear trauma two now!" he screamed as he looked up at Sam, a couple of feet away.

"Sam!" he yelled over at her, remembering the gun shot the rocked the room as he tackled the man, "Sam, are you alright?"

"Yeah." She replied, coming over to them. "He missed me." She said bluntly. Ray watched her hands shook as she took Carter's pulse.

"He's barely breathing." She said looking up at Ray. "Pulse weak and threading."

"Let's get him on a backboard!" He yelled, slipping on a pool of blood that has soaked through Carter's clothes. Ray looked up at Luka, whose still holding on the gunman against the wall, as they got Carter on the backboard.

"Don't let aspirate!" Luka screamed at him. Carter heaved again, coughing up more blood. "He's must have lost at least two liters," Luka said as security came in and got the gunman. Luka looked uncomfortably at the pool of blood on the ground and the gun laying few feet away. "Call the blood bank and get eight units of O negative and page surgery now!"

Sam stayed back and hit the switch on Teyshawn's monitor, turning it off. She stood there for a moment, staring at him and the blood dripping from the bed and on to the floor, morphing with Carter's blood on the floor. She threw a sheet over him and began to walk back into the other room when she got a sick feeling in her stomach and she puked into a basin.

------------------------

"Okay, on my count." Luka said. "Nice and gently, one, two, three."

"What the hell happen?" Dubenko said, running into the room, out of breath.

"Some guy shot him up." Malik said

"How did he get in?" Dubenko asked suspiciously.

"Doesn't matter right now." Luka retorted, getting frustrated. "Let's just focus on Carter."

"I lost a pulse!" Sam shouted

"He's in V-tac!" Ray said panicky, "Starting compression." He looked at Luka. "We need to tube him."

At that moment, Neela ran in.

"Oh God, Dr. Carter." She whispered.

_How could this happen to me?_

Luka looked around, unsure. An insecure feeling sank heavily into his stomach as he looked down at Carter.

_I've made my mistakes, got nowhere to run."_

"7.5 ET tube now!" Luka exclaimed, as Dubenko stripped down Carter's shirt, exposing the two gunshot wounds. He took the tube and slipped it expertly down Carter's mouth.

_The night goes on, as I'm fading away…_

"Okay, bag him." Luka said stepping away. It all felt so wrong; like it did six years ago…

_I'm sick of this life…_

"Let's shock him, 300!" Dubenko commanded.

_I just want to scream…_

"Normal sinus." Ray announced

_…How can this happen to me?_

"I have a pulse." Sam said

"Two gunshot wounds," Dubenko said examaning Carter. "One to the lower left quadrant, the other to the upper left chest."

"Pressure's dropping."

"He's bleeding somewhere." Neela said, "Probably in his chest; his heart isn't pumping enough blood." She paused "The bullet might have nicked his heart."

Luka looked up at her, trying to soak in the possibility. "Let's roll him gently." Luka said as his face fell to despair. "Single exit wound, just left of the spine." He looked down at the scar that remained after Carter got stabbed.

"What the hell is that from?" Ray asked as they rolled him back over.

"He got stabbed six years ago." Luka said remorsefully. Ray looked up at him, and saw the worry lining his face. "What's his crit?"

"Only 32." Sam said.

"Okay," Dubenko announced, "That's as stable as we're going to get him; let's get him up to surgery."

"Will you be operating?" Luka asked as they began to roll him out.

Dubenko nodded. "Would I let anybody else touch him?" He turned to Neela. "Will you be assisting?"

She nodded uncertainly as they made their way into the elevator.

"Oh my God, is that Carter?" Morris said, just walking in after his lunch.

"Will you be putting him on bypass?"

"What the hell happen?" Morris exclaimed.

"I don't know." Dubenko replied. "Only if I have to."

He looked out as the elevator door as it began to shut. "Don't worry, he's strong; I'll get him through." He paused, his voice cracking with uncertainty. "Get in contact with his wife, and don't forget about his son." The door shut, leaving Luka and the others at a somber standstill.

"Can somebody please tell me what the hell happen?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of its characters, WB does. "Rated "T" for language.

Author's Note: Sorry I took so long to update, I've been really busy with college stuff. Thanks to all those that actually stuck around to read this next chapter. I worked really hard, and I hope you enjoy! Please review!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The elevator door shut, closing Dubenko, Neela and Sam inside with Carter. There was an uncertain silence hanging in the air as the dull roar of the elevator sound as it began to move. Sam looked down at her Carter as she continued to squeeze the bag that was giving his lungs the oxygen to survive. She slowly tried to piece together what happen in the last horrific minutes as her stomach churned from the thought of the blood that was forever stained in her mind. She gripped the side rails of the gurney with her free hand to steady herself as she dazed of into the elevator wall. She closed her eyes trying to get the images out of her mind. She's seen it all before, but it was so different when it was somebody you knew. Sam opened her eyes to see Carter's eyes slowly start to flicker open.

"Hey," she exclaimed, "he's opening his eyes."

_He blinked a few times to get use to the light. Carter looked up and saw a face from the past staring back at him.__ His mind swirled in confusion when he heard "John" coming from the face of Dr. Benton. __"John?" came the voice again uncertainly, "John can you hear me?" Carter blinked and looked up at the face again when __an__ excruciating pain flooded into his chest. He tried to scream, but the tube in his throat stopped him. His eyes widen in pain as he heard the voice calling his name again. "John? John, where does it hurt?" He looked up at the face that looked like Benton, but his mind told him it wasn't him. Carter tried to fight the pai__n, but he couldn't. Benton never called him John, he always called him Carter he thought as his world turned dark with pain._

"Dammit, John, John?" Dubenko said panicky as Carter went unconscious.

"BP dropping!" Sam exclaimed as the elevator door open. They quickly pushed Carter out of the elevator and into the hallway.

Neela, running on her instincts, pulled out the portable ultrasound as Dubenko squeezed some gel on Carter's chest. "There's blood in the pericardium." Neela said gravely.

"Damn," Dubenko cursed as he quickly moved to the edge of the bed. "Set me up for a pericardiocenticis."

"Here?" Sam exclaimed as she continued bagging Carter.

"Yes dammit here." He replied bluntly, "we shouldn't have moved him till we found the source of the bleeding." He added more softly as fumbled with the med case and retrieved a large syringe. Neela and Sam stared unsurely at the large needle as Dubenko wiped down area an area of Carter's chest. A crowd of people formed as Dubenko hand shook slightly as he stuck the needle in, piercing Carter's skin. As the needle went in, the alarm on the monitor started screeching.

"Pull back," Neela warned, "You've gone too far." She watch as the sweat form around Dubenko brow as he slowly pulled back, drawing back a large amount of blood along with it.

"BP coming up." Sam announced as they started wheeling him toward the OR "Nice work."

Dubenko breathed a sigh of relief as he wiped the sweat off his brow. "Prep him up for a laparotomy and a thorocotomy." He paused taking in a breath, regaining his composure, "I want him ready in two minutes." He ordered as he walked through the double door to the scrubbing room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hold him still dammit!"

"Get your hands off me you bastard!"

Luka's mind fell numb as he stared through the double doors that held the man that dealt so much damage upon Carter. Abruptly, the crazed man somehow broke through his restraint, knocking Ray against a tray of suture kits before he hit the ground with a thud. Luka stormed into the room, grappling the man backed onto the gurney with a violent vengeance. He tightened his grip on the man as he continued to struggle. No words came to his lips as he stared the gunman in the eyes, trying to find some remorse in them, but saw nothing but blind hatred staring back at him.

"Fuck you, you freaking' scum." The gunman spat at Luka, scoring a bull's eye straight into Luka's left eye. Luka stumbled back in shock only to have a boot to the chin for his sympathy.

"HA take that you freaking Jew!" The gunman cried triumphantly, mocking Luka on the ground. Luka rolled to his side, feeling his chin and saw Ray on the ground with Haleh attending the cut on his face. Malik jumped on the man, struggling to hold him back down.

Luka felt the last of his sympathy fly out the window as the feeling of calm rage took its place. He stood up and forcefully knocked the still nameless gunman back down onto the gurney.

"I'm Catholic you dumb shit."

"Luka!" Came a voice from the doorway, "What do you think you're doing?"

Kerry stood there, an anomaly among the chaos. "I don't think you're fit to work the rest of today, you should get that chin checked out and just go home" She said sympathetically. "I'll take care of this."

"Yea," the gunman retorted, "Get your sorry ass out of here"

Luka reluctantly let go of the gunman and walked out of the room without saying another word. He heard someone saying his name behind him as he walked rapidly to the door. He didn't care who was calling him. He didn't care about his chin. Yesterday, one of his closes friends saved his baby's life, the same man that saved his very own from the jaws of the Congo. Today, he might not have his own because of one ignorant fool. He heard his name called again, but he didn't care who it was – he just kept on walking toward the ambulance doors.

He pushed the door open, freeing himself from the hell hole that he was in. He looked up into the sky and the water bearing clouds that threatened rain. Luka took a few strides away from the door when he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

He turned around to see Abby looking back at him. The look on her face told him that she already knew of the events of this morning. All of the sudden, as rain drops started to fall on his face, the expression on her change from sadness to absolute fear. Luka heard the roar of a monster and Abby screaming his name as he turned around and saw the headlights of the beast, coming straight for him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-This was kind of a transition chapter – I've haven't written in a while and this will hopefully get me back into the swing of writing so I can finish what I've started. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!


End file.
